5 ways to deal with a difficult co-worker
No matter how hard you try, it can be difficult to get along with everyone in the workplace. Maybe your colleague talks over you in meetings, or they're always on your back about deadlines. It could be that you just don't vibe well or have much in common.
Dealing with a difficult co-worker can test your patience, communication skills and ability to resolve conflict. In fact, 61% have experienced a toxic workplace environment. But here's the thing: finding common ground and practical solutions is crucial if you want to maintain a positive work environment.
Try these strategies to help you handle a difficult co-worker in a considered, respectful way.
1. Identify what you find difficult
Before exploring solutions, it’s helpful to identify a specific problem or set of issues. What exactly is difficult about your colleague's behaviour? Are they disrespecting your work, deflecting responsibility or ignoring your personal boundaries? How do their actions make you feel?
Some common toxic workplace behaviours that may make you feel uncomfortable include:
- Being subjected to bullying or intimidating behaviour
- Being spoken to rudely in front of others
- Dealing with passive-aggressive behaviour
“The signs are often subtle at first. You might notice increased irritability, anxiety or a sense of tension when you see their name pop up in your inbox,” says Lauren Barrett, Principal psychologist at Regenerative Psychology.
“Behaviourally, you may start avoiding interactions, over-preparing for conversations, procrastinating on shared tasks, or struggling to concentrate. When workplace stress starts to affect your mood, focus, energy, or home life, it’s a sign the dynamic isn’t just inconvenient, it’s taking a toll on your mental health.”
2. Focus on common ground
Personal differences can lead to problems with co-workers.
"Shifting attention to shared goals can be incredibly grounding,” Barrett says.
“Reframing the situation around collective objectives such as team performance, client outcomes, or project deadlines, helps move the focus from ‘me versus you’ to ‘us versus the problem’.”
“It can also help to view differences as complementary rather than oppositional. For example, someone who feels rigid may actually be detail-oriented; someone who feels blunt may value efficiency. When teams anchor themselves in shared purpose and recognise diverse working styles as strengths, collaboration becomes more achievable.”
3. Minimise interactions, or manage them
While it’s generally not possible to avoid a colleague completely, you may be able to reduce your direct exposure to them as long as it doesn’t affect your work. When you do have to interact with them, Barrett recommends you consider using communication techniques to reduce and de-escalate conflict when needed.
To minimise or manage your interactions with a difficult co-worker, Barrett suggests:
- Limiting unnecessary one-on-one contact, instead redirecting conversations to task-focused topics
- Identify what is “triggering” you, to respond more intentionally
- Use simple regulation strategies such as pausing before replying to emails to prevent reactive responses
- Active listening to reduce defensiveness and demonstrate respect
- Use clear and neutral language and tone such as “I” statements to keep the focus on impact over accusation for eg. “I would like clarity so I can prioritise”
4. Ask your manager for help
Resist the urge to complain if you approach your manager for help. Instead, focus on outlining what helps you thrive at work – and how the situation with your co-worker is getting in the way. “Speaking to a trusted supervisor, mentor or accessing available employee assistance programs can provide perspective and reduce the sense of isolation,” Barrett says.
5. Know your rights
If the situation becomes very serious and remains unresolved, you can lodge an internal complaint with your manager or HR department. In extreme circumstances, there's also the option to lodge an external complaint with WorkSafe, explains Andrew Jewell from Jewell Hancock Employment Lawyers.
"Work through the levels of escalation as this gives you a better chance of resolution," he says. "Before any formal action, it’s a good idea to try and address the issue directly with the co-worker.” If it’s not possible to move forward with an internal complaint – or not successful – you could then look to an external option, Jewell says.
Strategies focusing on avoiding and mending conflict can help you deal with a difficult co-worker and contribute to a positive work environment. If the situation escalates, look to your manager or HR team for extra support.
Source: Independent research conducted by Nature of behalf of SEEK, interviewing 6,000 Australians annually. Published April 2026.