A guide to writing short condolence messages for coworkers
Knowing what to say when a colleague experiences a loss can be difficult – but it's worth putting the effort in to find the right words. Expressing sympathy through a short condolence message shows you care and helps to create a supportive work culture.
A few well-chosen words can provide comfort to a someone going through a difficult time, even if you don't know them very well. If you have a coworker grieving a loss, this article can help you write an empathetic, meaningful condolence message that shows support in a sensitive and work-appropriate way.
The importance of condolence messages
The power of a short condolence message to a colleague can't be underestimated. When a coworker experiences a personal loss, you can provide comfort and support and help maintain a strong working relationship when times are tough. It's important to do this in a way that shows empathy but maintains professionalism.
Thoughtful messages for colleagues on sick or bereavement leave can be beneficial for several reasons:
Provides comfort. When your coworker is grieving, simply knowing someone has thought about them can provide comfort.
Support. Offering condolences to your colleagues helps create a supportive work environment.
Acknowledgement. It can help the grieving process when others acknowledge a loss and validate their emotions.
Helps with emotional stress. With an estimated 17% of the Australian population suffering from anxiety, a few empathetic words can help reduce the risk of depression, post-traumatic stress and prolonged grief.
Elements of an effective short condolence message
There's no one-size-fits-all formula for an expression of sympathy, though there are some elements you should include in your message for it to be effective. Most condolence letters follow these guidelines.
1. Acknowledge the loss
It's essential to acknowledge that your coworker has suffered a loss. A condolence message can begin by recognising this loss.
Example: "I'm very sorry to hear of the passing of your father."
2. Express sympathy
A condolence message should always offer condolences or express sympathy in some way.
Example: "Please accept my heartfelt condolences."
3. Offer support
It helps to offer support to the person, especially in a workplace setting where your assistance may realistically be required.
Example: “The team and I are here to provide any support you need.”
4. Share a fond memory
If you are relatively close to your colleague, you can mention a shared memory. This only applies in cases where you had a relationship with the person who has passed.
Example: "I will always remember [NAME] and his great sense of humour with fondness."
5. Keep the message concise and sincere
There is no need to write a lot, in fact it is better to keep your condolence message to a few sentences. It's also best to avoid being too flowery as this may come across as insincere. You may wish to end on a call to action for support.
Example: "Reach out if you need anything."
Examples of short condolence messages
There are many ways to make these messages unique, depending on the colleague you're writing for. Below are a few condolence message examples of what to say in a sympathy card.
For a coworker or professional contact
When creating a short condolence message for colleagues, keep your sentences concise and your message focused on sympathy and support. It's important to express condolences without overstepping boundaries or sounding insincere. Brief sympathy messages offer comfort in a sensitive and work-appropriate way.
Here are some example condolence messages for a colleague:
"Our condolences on the loss of your [FAMILY MEMBER]. Please accept our deepest sympathies. From everyone at [ORGANISATION NAME]."
"Sorry for your loss. We are thinking of you at this difficult time."
"Our thoughts are with you and your family. Sincere condolences from the whole team."
"Sending you our deepest sympathies during this difficult time."
For specific types of loss
You may wish to tailor sympathy card messages to specific situations, such as a short condolence message for the loss of a family member. This can give your message a more personal, thoughtful touch.
The following points will help you compose a more personalised condolence message for a coworker. Below are some of the most common types of loss, with condolence message examples you can adapt.
Loss of a father
"We are all deeply saddened to hear about the passing of your father. He will no doubt be deeply missed."
"We're very sorry to hear about the loss of your father. We're all thinking of you during this difficult time."
"Please accept our deepest condolences for the loss of your father. Sending you our love and support."
Loss of a mother
"Please accept our team's heartfelt condolences for the loss of your mother. We are thinking of you during this difficult time."
"We are sad to hear of the loss of your mother. Our thoughts are with you and your family at this time."
"Deep condolences on the passing of your mother. Please know we're all here for you."
Loss of a spouse or other loved one
"Sincere condolences on your loss. The team at [COMPANY NAME] is here to support you in any way we can. Your [HUSBAND/WIFE] will be fondly remembered."
"At this sad time, we offer our sympathy to you after [NAME]'s passing. "
"We are saddened to hear of the loss of your [HUSBAND/WIFE]. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to support you."
"Deepest condolences on the loss of [NAME]. Sending you love and support during this difficult time."
"We are deeply sorry to hear of the loss of [NAME]. We are thinking of you during this difficult time"
"Our heartfelt condolences for your loss. You're in our thoughts during this time of grief."
Loss of a pet
"We’re sorry to hear about [PET’S NAME]. We know he/she meant a great deal to you."
"Our condolences on the loss of [PET’S NAME]. Please reach out to us for any support you need at work."
"Just a note to let you know we care about you and are thinking of you. We know the loss of [PET'S NAME] will be deeply felt."
Tips for writing a meaningful short condolence message
Here are some tips for constructing a brief sympathy message:
Keep it simple and sincere: Brevity is key. Avoid wordy, exaggerated prose, which can seem insincere. Focus instead on a short message expressing empathy.
Use personal connection: Recognise the loss your coworker has experienced and tie in a personal connection, if appropriate (for example, “He/she was always so funny and engaging”. Don't worry about including this if you have no direct connection to the person who passed away.
Offer helpful support: Let your coworker know you and your team are available to help and support in appropriate ways during the period of mourning.
Common pitfalls to avoid in condolence messages
When putting together short condolence messages for professionals and colleagues, try to focus on beautifully crafted, personal, and empathetic communication rather than one-size-fits-all generic statements. Below are a few notes on what to avoid.
Using clichés or platitudes
It's important to avoid phrases that your colleague might construe as meaningless or empty. For example, “[NAME] is in a better place now.” Phrases such as this are not only trite but have the potential to offend.
Comparing grief or losses
Everyone's experience of grief is different, and shouldn't be compared. With this in mind, it's not a good idea to refer to your own grief or experiences when sending a short condolence message to a colleague. Avoid writing things like "Having recently lost my father..." or "When my mother passed..."
Offering unsolicited advice
A brief sympathy message shouldn't include any advice to a colleague who is experiencing grief. An example of what not to say would be, "Just take things day by day; time is a great healer".
A religious tone
In a workplace environment, it's always best to avoid religion in a short condolence message. Instead of saying, "God will walk with you at this trying time," instead consider, "Your team is here to support you as you grieve."
Not using the correct euphemisms for death
Be sensitive in how you speak about death in a condolence message to a colleague. Stick to professional euphemisms such as “the passing of [NAME]”, “Sorry for your loss" or "for the loss of [NAME]." Don’t say “the death of [name] or “Sorry to hear [NAME] has crossed to the other side.”
Delivering your short condolence message
There are several ways to deliver your short condolence message to a colleague. Below are some points to consider.
Choose the appropriate medium
Handwritten note: a handwritten sympathy card signed by colleagues is the most sincere way to deliver a message. It's also the most personal and heartfelt.
E-mail: if your colleague is away from work due to bereavement leave, an immediate way of expressing sympathy and condolences is via email. Be mindful that it may take them some time to respond, and let them know it's perfectly OK for them not to.
Text message: if you have their personal details, you may choose to send condolence messages via text or private message. However, as with emails, be aware that they may not feel able to respond.
Social media posts: sites such as Facebook have become primary platforms for sharing death announcements and offering condolences. When using digital platforms for condolence messages, it's important to consider privacy.
When should you send short condolence messages?
It's important to consider when to send your message, especially when social media allows you to respond instantly. If an announcement of death appears on social media, double check privately with a third party that it is correct before posting a condolence message.
If you're sending a sympathy card, it's best to do this within a day or two of hearing the news.
Following up with additional messages
It's OK to occasionally check in on your colleagues and let them know you're thinking of them. Ensure they know there's no pressure to reply if they're not up to it but that you're extending the offer of support.
How to deliver condolences in person
If it's appropriate, visiting a colleague with a handwritten card can make a difference, especially if you're part of a close team. Check in with your colleague and work out a mutually agreeable time to visit. In these situations, it's best not to arrive unannounced.
A heartfelt short condolence message can make all the difference to a work colleague in the process of grieving. The main thing to remember when writing one is to keep it sincere and heartfelt, tailoring it to the colleague and their specific situation. Sending a condolence message to a colleague is an important workplace gesture that shows support, provides comfort and ultimately creates a more supportive culture.
If you, or someone you work, with is struggling after the loss of a loved one, there are support networks that can assist.
FAQ
How do you write a simple sympathy message?
Start with phrases such as "We're sorry for your loss" and end with "We're thinking of you at this time." Keep your message brief and to the point.
What's the best sympathy sentence?
Try to write sincere sentences such as:
"Our thoughts are with you at this time."
"We're deeply saddened to learn of your loss."
"We extend our deepest condolences for the passing of your mother."
What's the best short condolence message?
Here are some great ways to start a short condolence message:
“Sorry to hear of the loss of...”
Condolences on the passing of…”
We wanted to share our condolences for the loss of…”
How have condolence messages evolved in the digital age?
You can now send short condolence messages in digital form, including via email, text, WhatsApp, or social media sites such as Facebook or Instagram. They can still be deeply personal and effective. It's always important to do due diligence in fact checking before sending a private or public message via these mediums.
What are the most common words used in effective condolence messages?
Some common words include "deepest sympathy," "love and support," and "our thoughts are with you."
What are the best practices for sending condolences via social media?
It's important to first check the information is factual. Write a message that is thoughtful and sincere, without any emojis or stickers. Keep the message short and to the point. Respect the wishes of the family you're writing to, especially if they've expressed that they don't want to receive personal messages.
How do condolence message preferences differ between generations?
Older people are more likely to have been raised to be stoic about grief and loss, and may not be comfortable overtly expressing their feelings. Younger generations are generally more open about emotions and more accustomed to sharing them publicly.
How can AI and technology assist in writing personalised condolence messages?
If you're struggling to write a short condolence message to a colleague, you can use AI to come up with a base message. In your prompt, add details about the person you're writing to, and the program will write a sympathy message that you can edit to fit the circumstances.
