A guide to interpersonal skills (with examples)

Knowing what interpersonal skills are, how they impact yourself and others, and how they can elevate your career, can help you succeed in your personal and professional life. They also play an important role in building meaningful relationships.

So what are interpersonal skills? Which interpersonal skills are essential? We delve into all this and more, including how to add interpersonal skills for resumé and application writing, and which interpersonal skills resumé readers and hiring managers like to see. Let’s jump right in!

Interpersonal skills: Meaning & definition

Interpersonal skills allow people to communicate and interact well with others. Also known as social or people skills, they include behaviours like listening, being positive and showing empathy.

What are interpersonal skills?

Interpersonal skills are what we use when interacting with others. This includes how we adapt to situations, communicate and interpret emotions. They’re desirable skills to employers, as most job positions involve working within a team, whether that’s with a direct manager, those you may supervise, colleagues or clients. While often undervalued, interpersonal skills are a great addition to your resumé and can help you stand out from the crowd.

The building blocks of interpersonal skills & examples

So, what are examples of good interpersonal skills employers look out for? Developing social skills as you grow in your career can come naturally. But there is a specific list of interpersonal skills hiring managers keep an eye out for, even in junior roles.

Here are some excellent communication and interpersonal skills examples you may want to use to measure what you bring to the interview table-or even add relevant ones to your resumé!

1. Communication skills

Whether you’re engaging with colleagues, customers or the general public, communication interpersonal skills are valuable skills in the workplace. If you’re applying for customer-facing roles, like in hospitality, retail or front office, these are examples of interpersonal communication you will want to highlight on your application:

Using clear communication to ensure the customer’s needs are understood and met.
Active listening, such as paying full attention to who is speaking to you and what they are saying both in verbal and non-verbal cues.
Detecting needs through body language, facial expressions, tone and other non-verbal communication cues.
Knowing how to interpret words, social cues, and how to respond.

2. Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to understand, use and manage your own emotions in a positive way. It can also refer to the ability to empathise with other people’s emotions, picking up on their emotional cues. Emotional intelligence can be a crucial skill to develop, especially if you plan on stepping into a supervisor or management role.

There are four key areas of emotional intelligence, or EI, which includes:

Self-awareness, and being able to identify your own emotions.
Self-management or regulation, to be able to regulate your emotions and engage positively.
Social awareness, in being able to empathise and understand the perspective of others.
Relationship management, and be able to manage your relationships with others.

Each of these key areas include other, more specific competencies, such as having a positive outlook, empathy, organisational awareness, influence and more. These are all areas worth exploring if you are pursuing a career path to management.

3. Conflict resolution

Conflict resolution is an essential part of interpersonal skills for everyone. Some people may find that they’re naturally good at resolving conflict. However, this is a skill you can further develop by understanding the nature of conflicts and how they arise in different situations, techniques for resolving different conflicts (whether between yourself and someone else or between two other people), as well as effective negotiation strategies.

4. Collaboration and teamwork

Working in any position will often involve some level of collaboration and teamwork, making the ability to work in a team highly regarded by hiring managers. While this is something you can discuss yourself, it’s also important to display this in references from previous employers.

Being able to effectively collaborate, understand and work to different team dynamics and build trust within teams can also help you stand out. These skills are sought after in almost any position, as well as when a company is looking at promoting from within.

5. Adaptability

Change can be a scary thing for anyone, but it’s how you handle change that makes the difference. Being adaptable is a great life skill in general, benefitting you through challenges, in and out of the workplace. It means you have the ability to withstand or recover quickly from life’s difficulties-and we all know life can get pretty unpredictable!

For example, being resilient in the workplace may include not taking feedback personally, embracing change (like changing software or team structures), or being able to learn and grow from your mistakes. Cultivating resilience, learning from your experiences and staying positive will always be looked on favourably. It sets a good example to others and shows you can be relied on, even during changing times.

Strengthening your interpersonal skills

We all have our strengths and weaknesses, even when it comes to our social and interpersonal skills. If this is an area that you think you could strengthen, the good news is that there’s plenty of ways you can build these skills. From learning how to better communicate to how to read, measure and be in control of your own emotions, here are some ways to strengthen social skills.

6. Assertiveness training

Being assertive refers to communicating with others honestly and directly, without intentionally harming the feelings of other people. Being assertive can help clearly get your point across, avoid confusion and even potential disruption to a project. It can also play a role before you get into the workplace, helping you to be more effective when talking about yourself in a job interview! That’s where assertiveness training can teach you to effectively communicate the way you feel or what you mean without impacting the emotions of others.

Remember, you’re the one in control of your words, emotions and thoughts. Training yourself on how better control of these things can help you create better relationships in the workplace, and life in general.

Techniques for becoming more assertive

When trying to become more assertive, you may find the ‘3 Cs’ a helpful tool. They are; Confidence, Clear and Controlled. Some ways you can practise the ‘3 Cs’ include:

Use ‘I’ statements. “I feel” rather than “You always”, or “I disagree” over “You’re wrong”.
Assess your body language. You may be saying positive words, but if your arms are crossed, your face is stern or you’re leaning away from the person, it can indicate you are uncomfortable or not being honest in the way you feel. Practice keeping a neutral facial expression, facing the person and avoid crossing your arms or legs.
Train yourself to remain calm. Becoming angry or frustrated is a natural response to a difficult situation. However, being able to remain calm, keep your voice steady and low, and show you’re in control can help you communicate more effectively.
Practice saying no. For a lot of people, saying no is incredibly difficult, even when you’re already feeling the pressure. However, always saying “yes” can add more stress to your plate. So, practice saying no, such as, “No, I don’t have time right now, but we can discuss later this week if you still need my help.”

7. Building rapport

Building rapport refers to developing mutual trust and connection with another person. This can be important in working together effectively as a team, and in some workplaces, helping deliver a positive experience with customers or clients.

Some ways you can build rapport include:

Showing empathy, relating to the other person and showing you understand.
Using a mirroring technique, matching the body language or gestures of a person, which creates a connection between people.
Using humour to relax the other person, and show you are a safe space to share and communicate. This is a big one that can be hard to gauge, but done effectively has a profound impact on the relationship you are forming.
Find commonalities with the other person, creating a connection between the two of you.

8. Developing empathy

Empathy is another important skill, helping you to connect and build relationships with other people. It can help you foster better relationships and also help with conflict resolution. This ability to understand and relate to another person’s feelings and can be shown through:

Cognitive empathy, which is the ability to understand another’s perspective
Emotional empathy, to physically feel what another is feeling, and have an empathic sense of what another needs or wants from you.

Empathy is a skill that can be practised by putting yourself in another’s shoes, helping yourself to better understand or even feel their emotions or point of view. Other key parts of developing empathy include checking yourself on your biases and exploring with your heart rather than your head.

9. Improving active listening

Active listening is not simply letting the other person talk. Instead, it’s about being fully present in a conversation, making eye contact and showing interest. You can also ask open-ended questions and contribute to the conversation to help show you care about them and what they have to say. Active listening is an important building block in all relationships - from at home with family and friends, to colleagues and clients.

How to be a better active listener by removing barriers

Remove any large gaps of physical distance between you and the other person, so you can hear one another properly.
Pay attention to the speaker and avoid checking your phone or other devices, or looking elsewhere other than the person talking.
Where there are language barriers, be patient, avoid jumping to conclusions where words may not translate, and ask clarifying questions where needed.

10. Enhancing non-verbal communication

Learning to read non-verbal cues is incredibly important in a professional setting. For example, if someone is saying they are happy with an outcome, but their arms are crossed and their smile appears ‘fake’, they may not indeed be happy. This is when you could probe a little further and ask specifics to learn what’s on their mind, and help you improve their experience.

One way to enhance your non-verbal communication is to take note of your own cues. If you find people don’t react the way you predict or want them to, your non-verbal communication style may be the cause.

One helpful exercise is to record a conversation, analysing your tone and body language as you speak. Then, think about how the other person may have perceived you, identifying where you may have sent mixed messages.

Interpersonal skills in professional settings

Interpersonal skills are important in all areas of our life, including our professional lives. It’s rare to find a job that doesn’t involve communicating with others or doesn’t rely on getting along well with other people, even if that’s simply your boss, others in your team or your HR manager.

Let’s take a look at some different areas where interpersonal skills can be a make or break in your career, and where you can improve your skills to further your career.

11. Networking

Whether you’re on the hunt for clients or making industry connections, networking is an important part of building career connections. When you’re looking for your next position, are available for work, or are looking for someone to collaborate on a project, the people you meet through networking can be invaluable.

How to network effectively

When meeting others and networking, your first impression can mean everything. This is the perfect opportunity to tap into a range of interpersonal skills, from actively listening and being empathetic to being assertive. However, effectively communicating is a two-way street. You need to be as involved in the communications and maintaining the relationship as much as the other person.

How to maintain professional relationships

Using social media is a great way to maintain professional networking relationships, from sharing posts yourself and commenting on others’ posts, to sending messages containing articles that reminded you of the person or even just checking in on them and how they’re going with a project you may have discussed in the past.

12. Leadership

We all know those people who are natural leaders, commanding a room with each word that they speak. While these people tend to naturally have exceptional interpersonal skills, there are strategies you can use to develop into a great leader.

Becoming a great leader means understanding your leadership style, and how this may or may not work with different teams or people. Identifying your leadership style can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses. From there, you can better understand how you communicate with your team and identify areas that you may need to develop.

Let’s take a look at the three main leadership styles, the traits of each and their impact on interpersonal skills.

Authoritarian

Authoritarian or autocratic leaders make decisions with little-to-no input from their team members. They lead with very specific processes. Authoritarian leadership is commonly associated with a military-type approach to managing a team with clear expectations placed on each team member.

Authoritarian leaders are great managers for teams frequently under pressure with urgent or highly detailed work. If there is very little room for mistakes, this type of leader is desirable. On the flip side, in other workplaces, an autocratic leader may be seen as domineering or micro-managing, which can lead to tough team dynamics and even affect the wellbeing and happiness of each team member.

Participative

A participative or democratic leader is considered a more collaborative management style as they both guide their team but encourage feedback and participation in decision making. As a democratic leader, you see your team’s role within the business as a crucial element of the organisation’s success. They are transparent with communication, and are collaborative and inclusive.

Like any leadership style, a participative leadership style has its pros and cons. The pros include a typically higher level of productivity and job satisfaction. Your team will typically be more motivated and productive as they feel more connected to the business’s success. However, checking in with the team can slow down the decision process, and you’ll want to be selective in how much information you can proactively provide.

Delegative

A delegative type leader is one who delegates tasks to their team, but allows the team to work on these tasks as they see fit. These types of leaders are known to be more hands-off, preferring to give control to their team.

A hands-off manager with a delegative style needs immense trust with their team for this to work. While it gives the leader the chance to focus on more high-level tasks, it may also mean tasks are not done to the required standard or within time. The team needs to respect their team leader, have been trained adequately, have the tools they need and to raise issues comfortably. This is where this type of leader needs to be able to effectively communicate with their team to ensure there is a balance between freedom to work autonomously and meeting the business needs.

13. Problem solving

You may be surprised to see problem solving in this list, however the way we solve problems comes down to our interpersonal skills. There are different types of problem solvers; you may identify as an analytical, intuitive, directive or collaborative problem solver.

The four styles of problem solving are:

Analytical - relies on data
Intuitive - relies on intuition and instinct
Directive - relies on taking action
Collaborative - relies on team input

Having different styles of problem solving in a group or team can be beneficial to getting to the bottom of a problem faster. However, it can also lead to some heated disagreements. For example, an analytical problem and intuitive problem solver working together may come to disagreement over relying on common sense versus needing data to move forward with a decision.

It’s important to remember that not everyone is going to have the same approach to problem solving, which is why learning about the different styles can be helpful in understanding how people come to conclusions.

14. Giving and receiving feedback

Feedback is important in the workplace. It helps people know where they have strengths and weaknesses, in turn, helping them identify opportunities to improve their skill set. Despite the benefits, giving and receiving feedback can be hard. This is where it’s important to lean on interpersonal skills to effectively communicate about your own performance or the performance of others.

Tips for giving feedback

If you’re the one giving feedback to a colleague or even a client, here are a few things to keep in mind:

Help prepare the person to receive feedback. This can include setting a meeting ahead of time. Catching someone off guard, when they’re busy or in a negative mindset will negate any good intention behind constructive feedback.
Be clear and concise, describing who, what, when and where the event has occurred so they have a specific example. You can then give specific examples of how they may approach that situation or task differently.
Avoid ‘you’ statements and exhibit care. For example, instead of saying ‘You’re always late to work,’ you may say, “I have noticed you have been arriving up to 20 minutes late each morning this week. Is there anything I can do to help, like adjusting your start time?’
Give recommendations and make them specific. Instead of telling the person they need to improve in a particular area, give them examples of how they can improve. For example, if you were telling someone they need to be more personable with customers, you could advise them to make eye contact, smile and give tips on how to make small talk.
Make it a conversation, not a lecture. Use your time with the person to find out if there is anything going on in their life, how they feel about the feedback or situation, and how you may be able to help.

Tips for receiving feedback

Here are a few tips to keep in mind if you’re the person receiving feedback:

Actively listen to the person giving you feedback. Try to avoid listening to your thoughts as these can often be defensive, and you may miss information that will help you.
Be aware of your response, including your tone and body language.
Ask questions if you need clarity or you need specific examples of how you can improve. It should be a two-way conversation.
Be assertive, communicating how you feel or anything going on that may be impacting the matter.
Keep in mind it is feedback to help you and grow, not a personal attack on you.
Be positive about the feedback. Thank the person and ask them if they would be ok with checking in for further feedback on how you’re adjusting.

15. Cultural competence

Cultural competence refers to being aware of our own cultural beliefs and values, and how they may be different to people from other cultures. Developing your cultural competence and interpersonal skills can help you more effectively communicate with a greater range of people. This not only gives you more life experiences, but also looks good to employers or your business as you can effectively work with more people.

Our culture can influence everything, from our language and beliefs to how we interact with others, raise children, eat and so on. Understanding cultural differences is important to help avoid situations that may lead to people feeling uncomfortable. Like any other interpersonal and communication skill, we can enhance our cultural awareness, even learning how to better communicate where there may be a block, such as language barriers.

Ways to help you be more culturally aware include:

Asking questions from a place of openness and curiosity
If you know you will be working with someone of another culture, educating yourself on their etiquette beforehand. If you feel comfortable, you can even ask them - after all, even the same culture may have some differences.
Where there is a language barrier, avoiding slang as this can create unnecessary confusion
Keeping an eye out for non-verbal signals, like someone starting to cross their arms or becoming withdrawn with their body during a conversation, indicating they are uncomfortable.

Roles where interpersonal skills are very important

Interpersonal skills are important in life in general, but there are some careers and roles where being sociable and personable will be highly beneficial. Let’s explore some different industries and roles, and how developing interpersonal skills can come in handy in elevating your career.

Sales & interpersonal skills

There’s no denying that sales is a people job. You need to be able to build trust and connection with customers incredibly fast. So, knowing how to communicate with all different types of people isn’t just a nice skill to have, it’s essential.

Let’s say you take a job selling to the public, such as a sales rep at a booth in a shopping centre. You may rely heavily on the ability to read the body language of people walking past to assess who may be open to speaking to you. For example, if someone is walking past quickly and not making eye contact, it’s likely they will not be interested.

Customer service & interpersonal skills

If you work in a customer service role, a large aspect of your job is to make sure the customer has an enjoyable experience. It can be common to come across customers who aren’t happy, using problem-solving and interpersonal skills to deflate the situation and leave them with a good outcome.

Conflict resolution is essential when you work in customer service fields, like in hospitality, retail, reception and more. The ability to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, show empathy and problem solve will help you find a solution the customer or client will be content with.

For example, let’s say you work for an online call centre. You answer a call from an angry customer who has been charged a late fee, but they insist they have paid. Through your interpersonal skills, you use empathy to help the customer feel heard and let them know you are there to help. You would then walk them through their options, problem solving to find the best solution as to why they received the late fee, and how to prevent that issue from occurring again. By staying calm and assertive, you can remain in control of the situation and effectively guide the customer, rather than escalating the matter.

Leadership & interpersonal skills

In a leadership role, a key responsibility is to foster healthy relationships within your team to effectively deliver results for the business. This needs interpersonal skills. So much so, that many businesses will offer leadership and interpersonal skills training to help you prepare and be successful in your role.

If you are looking to develop your own leadership skills, think about what leadership style you exhibit and compare it to the style that will work best with your team. You will also want to practise how you give feedback. As a leader, reading body language and non-verbal cues is incredibly important, even during a simple conversation. Being able to detect any uncertainty in your team can help you get on top of issues before they escalate, whether that’s someone who is struggling with their work, with another co-worker or feeling disheartened.

Healthcare & interpersonal skills

Bedside manner is frequently talked about in the healthcare industry, but it’s often not discussed about what this actually means. Bedside manner refers to your approach with your patients, including when delivering good and bad news, helping settle nerves and more.

Interpersonal skills examples for a healthcare professional include:

Empathy and being able to sympathise and treat the situation with care.
Collaboration with your colleagues to deliver a good outcome for patients.
Cultural competency, and being able to effectively communicate with people from all backgrounds and walks of life.
Problem solving, and using different methods to come to a conclusion quickly and accurately.
Non-verbal communication, and being able to detect when a patient may not be comfortable or feeling nervous.

Education & interpersonal skills

Working in education needs a unique set of interpersonal skills, particularly if you’re working with children. When teaching, you need to not only be able to effectively communicate for your students to learn, but you also need to monitor behaviours to see if those learnings are being received.

In this field, your conflict resolution skills will also be put to the test, especially if your students aren’t getting along with other classmates. Another key part of teaching is dealing with parents or caregivers. You may need to give feedback on a child’s behaviour or their progress in your class. In these situations, you may need to adapt your communication style to suit different people and situations.

Human resources & interpersonal skills

Interpersonal skills are commonly something human resources professionals guide employees on, but they also need to always be developing them themselves. In this position, you’ll need to have the ability to:

Put yourself in the position of both the business and the employee
Problem solve to ensure a fair outcome
Resolve conflicts between employees and workplaces
Be aware of your cultural competencies

For example, a workplace may have a recurring issue of bullying, with biases towards people who may have immigrated to the country. In your HR role, you would need to use problem solving skills to get to the root cause of why these problems are occurring. You would need to have empathy for those who are being impacted but also put yourself in the shoes of those accused of bullying in these instances. It may be a case that you need to recommend cultural competencies training for the business, allowing the teams and employees to learn more about working with others with different backgrounds.

Public relations & interpersonal skills

Public relations or PR is the role of strategically communicating on behalf of a business and influencing public perceptions of said business. Much of having a successful career in PR is being able to build good relationships, whether that’s with journalists and editors to get your business featured or knowing how to tap into emotional intelligence to influence the public.

You will need to network, be empathetic with clients, be adaptable to quick-changing circumstances, be able to remain calm as tensions can be high, have good problem-solving skills and be very assertive in how you communicate.

Law enforcement & interpersonal skills

Working in law enforcement means working with a diverse range of people each and every day, often in escalated situations. Being good with people will greatly impact your outcomes for the better, whether that’s working with your colleagues or the public.

One of the top skills for this industry is being assertive. You want to be confident in what you say and clear in how you say it. Not doing so could lead to a lack of respect or authority in a situation.

At the same time, you will want patience, be empathetic, be able to problem-solve on the fly, resolve conflict and so on. Cultural sensitivity is also incredibly important to be able to determine when someone may simply not be aware or behaving a certain way because of their background, and not because they are being intentionally disrespectful.

Interpersonal skills are something we all need to develop, regardless of who we are and what we do. They are also not a one-size fits all, as the skills we need and use can greatly differ depending on the situation we’re facing, whether it’s a conflict, a person from a different background or even someone we are trying to persuade.

Whether it’s using some of the tips in this article or even asking for feedback from your colleagues and peers, you can greatly improve your career and happiness, simply by learning how to be a better communicator.

Frequently asked questions

What are the most important interpersonal skills to develop?

There isn’t necessarily one interpersonal skill that is the most important to develop. Instead, having a well-rounded set of interpersonal skills is essential for success in all areas of your life, from building better relationships to growing your career. Being empathetic for others while assertive in your own feelings and words are incredibly important interpersonal skills, as they help you with other social skills, like being adaptable and problem solving.

How can I improve my interpersonal skills in a professional setting?

There are many ways to improve your interpersonal skills in a professional setting, including being aware of your words, body language and feelings, observing others and their reactions and reflecting on outcomes. While self-development is a great way to improve your interpersonal skills, you can also work with others to improve skills like active listening, having mindful communication and problem solving in different situations. There are also professional interpersonal skills trainers who can help you develop your skills further.

How can I practise my interpersonal skills in everyday life?

Some ways you can practise your interpersonal skills include:

Making a conscious effort to listen actively and be empathetic to other peoples’ situations.
Being aware of your non-verbal communication, such as facial expressions and body language.
Seeking feedback from family, friends and colleagues.
Recording yourself having conversations to look at your expressions and tone.
Practicing being assertive, such as speaking clearly and concisely.

How can practising mindfulness help enhance my interpersonal skills?

Practising mindfulness enhances your interpersonal skills by allowing you to take account of how you feel, helping you to remain calm and in control in the moment. To be mindful of your social skills, take the time to select your words carefully, remain in control of your emotions and monitor the verbal and non-verbal cues from the other person. You can then adapt accordingly to remain in control of a situation, whether that’s through your body language or being more empathetic to how someone may be feeling.

Can introverts be successful in developing strong interpersonal skills?

Yes, introverts can successfully develop strong interpersonal skills through being mindful and practising. While introverts may find social interactions draining, they often have qualities that give them exceptional interpersonal skills, including being thoughtful, listening, empathetic and observant. Introverts are typically mindful of how they come across to other people and how others are feeling, so they can adapt to different situations. So, while they may not prefer to be in social situations frequently, they can be very effective communicators.

What are some resources for further development of interpersonal skills?

Some useful resources to further develop interpersonal skills include:

Other articles from SEEK Career Advice
Books, on topics such as self-development and socialisation
Online courses on topics like effective communication, conflict resolution and emotional intelligence
Workshops and seminars in the particular areas you’d like to develop
Communication coaches who can provide objective feedback on where you can improve and develop training plans
Podcasts by communication specialists
Apps, like meditation and mindfulness apps to help you be more self-aware

How do interpersonal skills relate to emotional intelligence?

Interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence are intertwined. While emotional intelligence involves understanding the emotions of yourself and others, interpersonal skills focus on how you communicate with others and build relationships. Emotional intelligence is a type of interpersonal skill you can use to better understand and communicate with others. By developing your emotional intelligence, you can better connect with others and more effectively build relationships in and out of the workplace.

How can I handle difficult conversations more effectively?

Handling a difficult conversation effectively requires preparation and communication skills. You will want to choose the right time and place, ensuring you’re taking a neutral standpoint and one of care and concern. You will also want to avoid accusatory statements (like “You do this”) and stick to the facts, while providing examples. Staying calm, being empathetic and providing clarity can also help the other person remain in control of their own emotions.

Can I improve my interpersonal skills through online courses or training programs?

Yes, online courses and training programs can be great ways to improve interpersonal skills. Online courses and training programs can give you styles to assess for likeness, strategies for effectively communicating and building relationships, as well as alternative methods for common interpersonal problems.

How do I maintain strong interpersonal skills in a remote or virtual work environment?

The increase in remote working has increased the need for development in virtual interpersonal skills. It’s important to encourage communication through online platforms, like video, email or instant chat, and engage in virtual team-building activities to still maintain those bonds. You may need to be more adaptable to different communication tools and cautious of your style of responding via then. For example, short responses on a live messaging or email platform can be perceived negatively, so it’s best to respond how you would in person, or arrange a video chat to talk.